Verse 1

You don’t have to carry the weight of the lie,

You don’t have to live till the day you die.

The boss won’t care, the crowd won’t see,

But freedom starts when you say “not me.”

Chorus 1

Here’s your permission slip to walk away,

Stop pretending every day.

Your title’s nothing, your heart is more,

There’s life beyond the office door

Verse 2

Here’s your paper crown, here’s your seat,

Bow to the spreadsheet, shuffle your feet.

But the truth leaks through the corporate hymn,

Your freedom starts when belief grows thin.

Chorus 2

Take this permission slip, tear it in two,

You don’t have to worship what isn’t true.

The empire’s hollow, the temple’s fake,

Your soul is yours to take.

I prefer v2 and c2 over v1 and c1. Which do you relate to?

Mood board image collection for video for new song. Although AI generated music lacks fidelity and originality (IMHO), I do find the latest image and video creation apps do amazing work taking your thoughts and ideas and transforming them into imagery. Imagery that looks professional and in itself enhances themes inherent in your lyric.

I used to use photoshop and other tools like that but I cannot remember the last time I opened that App to sketch out an idea. Now I just close my eyes and desribe what I want to see verbally into my phone and after a few iterations I start to see whast in my minds eye.

As well as recording and mixing in 7.1.4 I am also exceited to see how accompanying videos will develop for each new track.

The lazy option is for literal lyric to imagery but anologous mind drifting is what I find very zen….

What do you think?

Leave a comment

Oh, this is my first post on Substack. Looks like a nifty little tool for posting rough little clips. No algorithms to fight with. Just a direct line to you.

This is still a demo remix, mind you – rough around the edges in places, but that’s where you come in.

If you’re one of those audio explorers who’s already attempted to route my stems through a jungle of amps, ceiling speakers, or an obscure 7.1.4 rig, then firstly: thank you. Your feedback has been a massive help – genuinely insightful, generous, and (mostly) kind. It turns out my music’s a lot more fun to mix with your ears in mind.

Tech revelation of the month:

One of the issues I faced and eventually worked out was that the outputs from my Cubase system are not in the formats needed. Yes I can output MP4, binaural Wavs, and multi channel Wavs using the built in renderer but that's not specific enough for consumer products like AVR / phones etc.

To properly encode for Dolby Atmos, I needed something called the Dolby Media Encoder – sounds fancy, right? It is. And it also costs $400….. a year -  every year.

Yep. Creating a better fan experience apparently involves paying "rent" to Dolby. Who knew?

So while I’m more than happy to nerd out with this tech (and I will), if you’d like to support future immersive mixes, you can help by throwing a coin in the virtual hat via the link below. Every bit helps keep the music (and the encoder) flowing.

🌱 Support via DonorBox

🔽 Grab the Demo For Free:

⬇ Download the Atmos / Surround Soul Words Demo Remix (ZIP)

Whether you listen through headphones with binaural trickery or a full-blown Atmos setup, I’d love to know what you think – does it move around you? Do any sounds feel off? Does the guitars float weirdly over your head like a lost balloon? Is my voice out of tune in 4 dimensions?

Let me know. Your ears are part of this journey now.

Thanks again for being along for the ride.

– Paul

I wanted to share something special with you…

A binaural demo of my track Soul Words. It’s an early version, so your feedback is really welcome, especially on how it sounds through your headphones. If you notice anything odd (weird panning, phasing, or other quirks), I’d love to hear your thoughts. Although I'm not 100% sure if it will play that way on Patreon.... mmm thats a problem...

Anyway I have some WAV files in Stereo, Binaural 5.1 and 7.1.4 so if you interested in giving them a run on your sound system send me an email and I'll send it direct to your box.

I’ve also been working behind the scenes on a complete overhaul of my website, bringing everything back under one roof. Less dependence on platforms like this (Patreon), more control over how I share music, behind-the-scenes updates, and other upcoming content directly with you.

Have a peek at the new site: www.paulcusick.co.uk. And I recommend The Inside track ;-)

If you enjoy being part of the journey, you can now support me directly via my own site, it's simple, and it helps more of your support reach me without platform fees getting in the way. Patreon will stay active, but the new site is where all the new action will be happening.

Thanks again for your ears, your time, and your support.

So, welcome to the newly redesigned paulcusick.co.uk — a place where everything lives under one roof.

This is now the official hub for everything I do: new releases, studio updates, immersive audio, exclusive downloads, photography, and the occasional rant via the blog. Whether you’re a long-time listener or just stumbled across my work, you’ll find the latest news and access to the music right here.

I’ll still keep platforms like Patreon and Facebook ticking over, but mainly as funnels to this site. That means less noise, fewer fees, and more direct connection with you.

If you're someone who’s supported me over the years, thank you. If you’re new here - I bid you welcome. 

Stick around, explore, and maybe even join the Inside Track (my new subscriber area) for early access to demos and extras.

This isn’t just a new website - it’s a bit of a reset in advance of new release. Let’s see where it goes.

Well in some respects well. I now have 8 maybe 9 tracks ready for tracking.

Their working titles are in no particular order

• Don’t talk

• Neck deep

• Answer the question

• Stars fly

• Higher ground

• Personal Virus

• We are here

• Better me

• By myself

So that’s the good news.

The better news is after much pondering and faffing about over the last couple of weeks I’ve decided I’m embarking on recording and mixing this in 7.1.4 atmos.

So I’m currently rejigging my studio. It’s bloody expensive moving over to 12 speakers from 2 so you’ll have to bear with me while I do the logistics.

So far I’ve daisy chained 2 focusrite claretts together with ADAT to get the outputs and I’ve tried a binaural mix using headphones but I wasn’t impressed, so I’m biting the bullet and researching a suitable speaker config to place in my studio.

For those of you that don’t know 7.1.4 is

7: Seven surround speakers at head height. 3 to the front. Two to the immediate left and right and another two to the rear.

1: A low frequency effects (subwoofer)

4: Four speakers above your head. Two to the front. Two to the rear.

Before I start on the new tracks I've got the task of trying to learn how to mix and master in Atmos. To that end I am currently remixing Soul Words.

Anyway that’s a quick update. Things are happening behind the scenes.

I’ll keep you posted.

Cheers

Q

🎧 What File Types Do You Listen To? – Fan Feedback Round-Up

A few weeks ago, I reached out to my mailing list with a simple question:

"What audio formats do you listen to – and what kind of gear are you using?"

I genuinely wanted to know. With my next release deep in production, and especially as I venture further into immersive formats like Dolby Atmos, I thought it made sense to hear how you’re actually listening.

And wow… the replies were brilliant.

Over 30 of you took the time to respond - and not just with a format or two, but with detailed setups, listening habits, and even notes on room acoustics. I was blown away by the thoughtfulness and range.

🎵 Format Preferences

• Stereo WAV and FLAC came out on top – no surprise there. Audiophile-quality matters to this crowd.

• 5.1 Surround still has a loyal following – a few of you even shared your speaker placement diagrams (respect!).

• 7.1.4 Dolby Atmos is definitely growing – several fans mentioned Atmos-enabled soundbars, Apple spatial audio, or full Atmos rigs.

• A few still use MP3 on the go, but mostly as a fallback.

🔉 Gear Breakdown

• Hi-Fi Systems (Cambridge Audio, NAD, and Marantz came up)

• Studio Monitors & Audio Interfaces – plenty of you are musicians or engineers yourselves.

• Headphones – from open-backed Sennheisers to Apple AirPods Max (yep, Atmos on the go!)

• A surprising number of you stream via Apple Music and are already set up for spatial audio.

💡 What This Means for My Next Release

• There will be multiple audio formats available, including Stereo WAV, 5.1, and Dolby Atmos.

• Subscribers on the new Tier 2 and 3 plans will get early access to all formats.

• I am setting up test mixes for fan feedback - so you can be part of the process. This will be available to some of those that took the time to reply to my earlier email. 

🙏 Thank You

Big thanks to everyone who replied. You’ve helped make this release better already.

If you didn’t get chance to respond, feel free to drop me a message or comment below,  it’s never too late to join the conversation.

Paul
 

Right, so here’s the news: my studio is now about 90% converted for recording and mixing in 7.1.4 Atmos. That’s seven speakers, one sub, and four overheads; if you stand in the middle and close your eyes, you’ll either have a transcendent audio experience or get vertigo. Either way, it’s progress

Some Juicy Lessons from the Atmos Trenches

Genelec Speaker Lineup:

After much trial and error, I settled on a bunch of Genelecs 8010A, 8020D, and the 7050C sub. The 8010As are surprisingly punchy for their size although a little light in the low end (I know obvious given their size), the 8020Ds deliver detail and power, and the 7050C ties it all together with a solid tummy vibrating low end.

Denon AVR Victory: 

To keep costs sensible , I picked up a “good as new” Denon AVR. It’s been a reliable workhorse to someone before me, and now it's handling my Atmos duties without the wallet pain of buying brand new. One thought though.. if you are looking for a decoder that is specifically build for line live outputs and has no built in amp it costs more than a decoder that include line level out and amp power. Now does that sound a bit backwards to you? It does to me.

Focusrite Clarett8+ Master/ Clarett8 Slave Trick: 

One of my favourite hacks was hooking up two Focusrite Claretts in a master and slave combo using ADAT. This setup now gives me enough outputs to feed all the speakers, inputs to accept the decoded channels from teh Denon, and it worked far more smoothly than I expected (after a few choice words, firmware updates and some serious sketches using pencil, a rubber and coloured highlight pens).

Routing Riddles and Workflow Wonders  

Two Days of Routing Mayhem: It took a solid two days of head-scratching to get the routing sorted for both streaming Atmos from Tidal via Denon and the Macbook channel outputs from Cubase. There were more sketches, diagrams, YouTube tutorials, and more than a few cups of tea involved, and the occasional cider and marmite peanuts.

Snapshot Shuffle: Every time I swap between "music production" to just enjoying other people’s Atmos mixes, I have to reset the snapshot in each of the Claretts. It’s a bit of a faff swapping USB cables from each Clarett, but worth it for the flexibility ---- though I sometimes wonder if my audio interface is candlelighting me?

Mixing Mayhem

Drum Kits in Surround: Routing Superior Drummer 3 through Cubase’s labyrinthine audio paths means I can now put the kick drum in your chest, cymbals above your head, and toms swirling around like an over caffeinated octopus. Drum grooves have never been so… three-dimensional. But I think the novelty will wear off and a more considered approach will prevail (Hopefully).

VST Plugin Restraint: I am slowly learning (sometimes the hard way) that a touch of reverb on the Atmos master bus goes a long way. Too much room, and you’re mixing in a swimming pool. Less is more.

Object-Based Cocking About: There’s something deeply satisfying about sending a guitar riff floating over your head or having backing vocals whisper from behind. The “bed” keeps things grounded, but the “objects” are where the fun happens. But again spinning things around keeps the kids entertained, but I don't think it will be embedded too much into future track mixes.

Experiments and DIY Adventures Along the Way

Binaural Mixing Attempts: I tried to do a mix using binaural rendering in my Audio Technica headphones - no monitors, just headphones. But my ears couldn’t detect any real sense of 3D space; yes it sound open but it just doesn't translate sound placements like the speakers do. Yes it would be a cheaper more practical option, and I know headphone mixes will be part of the delivery process, but I think my pinnas are not calibrated that way.

I accept that most people will listen to mixes on headphones so I am going to have to trust in the magic of software to fold down my 7.1.4 mixes to simpler 5.1, binaural and stereo renderings. But I've only just started making music and Atmos mixes so lets see how the output opion develop.

DIY Cable Crafting: In a need to manage my budget, I learned how to solder and make my own XLR to TRS cables so they could reach around the room. That was fun… but took way too long and involved more burnt fingers than I’d like to admit. But it's a useful skill and cut costs by I calculate 70-80%

Miles of Cable: I bought a 100 drum of Van Damme starquad cable. There’s now over 90 metres of audio cable running around behind my wall panels. At this point, I’m convinced the cables are plotting to form their own band. I also have a few metres spare for ebay, or perhaps I might go into custom cable manufacturing. Handmade in the UK.

Atmos Mixes: The Good, the Bad, and the Glorious

It’s been eye-opening listening ( Ear Opening) to other people’s Atmos mixes and isolating the independent speakers in an attempt to reverse engineer tracks.

Elton John’s “Rocket Man” in Atmos is absolutely glorious, those acoustic guitar tickles, the backing vocals caressing your ears, the analog synth behind you and the room space you are invited into.... mmmmm. I had read about this track and its Atmos remix so this was the mix that made me think " Ahh now I get it"

Steven Wilson’s mixes are consistently inspirational, showing just how immersive and musically entertaining this format can be. You can hear how recording today can be approached by placing sounds in a space.

Is the tail wagging the dog?

In some respect yes. I do think part of this surround sound renaissance is led by some music industry players gatekeeping so they can charge an entry fee. This is a subject for a whole new discussion, but honestly, some Atmos mixes are just crap - overcooked, cluttered, and missing the immersive point. Or are they just doing what they need to do to get into the party?

Final Thoughts On Where I'm At (for now…)

Acoustic treatment is more important than ever - more speakers, more reflections, more opportunities for chaos. And as for that elusive “100% finished” mark? There’s always another microphone cable to move away from a power cable, another speaker to nudge, and at least three more cups of tea required before I can call it done. But I'm close so I think room correction is mainly going to be software based using something like SoundID reference.

My current wishlist also includes the official Dolby Atmos Renderer, but for now, I’m making do with the built-in Cubase version. Of course, just when you think you’re nearly there, the list grows: Cinematic Rooms Pro (that immersive reverb is looking very promising), a proper immersive reverb etc etc. Bugger.

What's Next?

I've tried to run before I walk. I started tracking one of my new songs (Don't Talk) in 7.1.4 and I got myself into a bit of a muddle. Therefore my plan is to take a step back and use some of my older track to practise the art of immersive mixing.

I found the hard drive from 2009 with all the tracks from my "Focal Point" album and I'm going to remix one of them. I'll take it all the way from archive to re-release, and along the way determine how my setup works. (Spot the old project manager in me).

I'm looking forward to this next bit; it's a trip down memory lane inspired by the future

Thanks for sticking with me on this journey. If you want to know what 90% success sounds like, watch this space. And if you’ve got Atmos questions or want to hear more behind-the-scenes chaos, drop a comment!

Emotionally it's been a hard song to complete. I wrote this following the untimely death of my mother in law Theresa. She's been in my life in one way or another since I was 15 years old. She was my next door neighbour first. Then I eventually ended up marrying her daughter.

I tried to write it to reflect the her spirit. To enjoy life. To spread love and to make memories.

She was a strong lady with a big heart and she was a loving Nanna to our children. Unfortunately her last few years included her battle with cancer. Eventually she lost the battle but she put up a great fight.  She kicked cancer’s butt once. Remission lasted long enough for her to be at our wedding and to see the birth of yet another great grand child.

She spent her last few days with us in our home and we were all together at the end. It was as perfect an ending as she had wanted. Sitting in the back garden on a sunny day surrounded by her family.

She will be missed, and this Christmas will not be the same without her.

Anyway on a more happier note I wish you all Merry Christmas and a great 2024. Hold close those nearest to you and treasure what you have. I know I will.

Best Wishes

Paul

Lots of words
Nothing worth repeating.
Cat’s lost your tongue
and you just keep talking at me.
This might sound a little condescending, but
I wish I had a mute button for your mouth.

I wish I had a mute button for your mouth so I can turn you down.

I’m always asking you to
don’t speak another word
I’m always begging you to
don’t speak another word
And then you ask me why I walk away
and I say don’t speak another word.

Give me a break.
I wish I had a mute button for your mouth
so I can turn you down
I can turn you down
I can turn you down
I can turn you down
In another life, a life.

You make sounds that wash away my peace of mind,
my come what may.
You tell me all about your day
Each strangers name
Every word they say

I wish I had a mute button for your mouth
so I can turn you down.

Guess what happened to me today?
Turn you down.
I told you already, were you not listening?
Turn you down.
I wanna turn you down.
Hello, is there anybody in there?
Turn you down.
Listen to me.
I wanna turn you down
Don’t ignore me.
I’d like to turn you down.
I need to turn you down!

Am I boring you?
Wake Up!

credits

released April 22, 2023
Words and Music Paul Cusick

I wrote this song when my doctor recommended some additional medication to counteract the side effects of some antidepressants that I was taking. It seemed the start of a never ending cycle of medication. I came off the antidepressants and other ailments soon disappeared.

lyrics

Lyrics:

Who do you think you are?
Take one of these, three times a day, for 15 years, it’ll help me pay
for that car parked outside, the house on the hill, school fees for my kids
just take the pill.
I’m your legal dealer, I’ll help you begin,
a freedom stealer under your skin.
A Licensed healer with a bottle of lies, placebo bullets just give them a try

White pills take the pain away.
Red ones help you through the day.
Yellows stop the crying.
Red ones make the voices stop
Blue ones help you keep it up
Green ones silence thoughts of dying

Take one of these
They’re made to make you better
Take one of these
They’re made to make you high
Take one of these
When you’re feeling under the weather
Take one of these
Ask me any question but don’t ask why?

I’m here to get things started, your crazy train has long departed.
Standing on the platform, how ya doing?
Rethink your mental ways, I’ll mask out all your yesterdays
I’ve got a cure for tomorrow, happy pills that make you cry.

White pills take the pain away.
Red ones help you through the day.
Yellows stop the crying.
Red ones make the voices stop.
Blue ones help you keep it up.
Green ones silence thoughts of dying.

Who do you think you are?
Working for the man. Take commission when you can.
Who do you think you are?
You tell me what to do, what am I to you?
Who do you think you are?
You ask me how I feel then prescribe another deal.
Who do you think you are?
Playing with my fears so I return six times a year.

Stop doing what you do
Stop doing what you do to me

We make you well
We make you better
We make you high
Just sign the letter
Mistakes are made
Don’t be afraid

We do what we're told
Take away my madness
We do what we're told
Take away all the pain inside
We do what we're told
Take away my sadness
We do what we're told
Take it all.
I’m not the only one.

credits

released June 4, 2021
Music: Paul Cusick
Artwork: Tom Cusick

There is also a video 

The Human Race is track 10 from the album P'dice. This song contins the twist in the tail. So don't read the lyric until last.

lyrics

Now something's not the same.
The pain has gone, I'm feeling fine.
I'm standing in the strangest line, but wait, there's a voice inside my head,
that tells me that I'm dead and please go away.

Sorry you can't come in.
We'd like to say you're welcome here, but that is not the case.
Don't take this personally, we love the place that you come from,
we just don't like the human race.

credits

from P'dice, released January 16, 2012
Music written, composed and performed by Paul Cusick.
Artwork: Martin Roberts at M:Art

Waiting is track 9 from the album P'dice. Our hero falls ill and is joined by his lover at his death bed. I was joined in the studio with Sammi Lee who has this amazing tone to her voice. We literally wept when she recorded this song.

lyrics

There's a little spot beneath my skin.
A little spot deep within.
That little spot beneath my skin is growing.
That little spot hides within.

Comfort me.
Won't you comfort me?
Can't you see what you mean to me?

I did not ask you here.
You bring pain, you bring fear.
I did not invite you in to play this game
that you always win.

Don't look away, I see you here with me.
Hold me close, I feel you here with me.
Don't let me go, I need you here with me.
Stay by my side until my soul is free.

Don't look away.
I won't look away.
I see the fear behind your eyes. I see the truth that lives inside you.
Hold me close.
I'll hold you so close.
Take comfort in my arms, feel them wrapped around you.
Don't let me go.
I'll never let you go. As long as you need me, I'll always be beside you.
Stay by my side.
I'll stay here by your side.
Please know we'll be together until your soul is free.

Don't look away.
Waiting to die.
I see you here with me.
Hold me close.
Waiting to die.
I feel you here with me.
Don't let me go.
Waiting to die.
I need you here with me.
Stay by my side
Waiting to die.
until my soul is free.

credits

from P'dice, released January 16, 2012
Music written, composed and performed by Paul Cusick.
Guest Vocals: Sammi Lee
Drums: Marco Minnemann
Artwork: Martin Roberts at M:art

When It Rains (Album Version) is track 8 from the album P'dice. It differs from the single version by featuring Gavin Harrison on drums with slightly different bass line, mix and mastering. Its a song that I've had in my back pocket for years and was originally inspired by the bass guitar sound that you hear in "Don't Give Up" by Mr Peter Gabriel.

I also think the artwork is amazing. So dark and menacing. At first you see the balloon - a child play thing - then underneath a grenade....

lyrics

It's dark on the road on your own.
The dust stings your eyes then it rains.
Six months have dragged by since the end of your world.
Tomorrow you'll get up again.

I know you look back in anger.
There's hurt, there's fear and there's pain.
I see your spirit fly on different winds.
For you dream of the sun when it rains.

When you're lost, on your own, we can find a way.
Don't look back, don't be scared, I am here to stay.
Take my hand, walk with me to your new home.
Let your heart dance again, you are not alone.

I know you look back in anger.
There's hurt, there's fear and there's pain.
I see your spirit fly on different winds.
For you dream of the sun when it rains.

credits

from P'dice, released January 16, 2012
Music written, composed and performed by Paul Cusick.
Drums: Gavin Harrison
Artwork: Martin Roberts at M:art

Feel This Way is track 7 from the album P'dice. A love song.

lyrics

I can only look at you, a glance, you turn away.
I dream of things I'd like to do, and words, words I'll never say.

You're unaware of how I feel, it's better that way.
Some things are never meant to be revealed, revealed in any way.
I just feel. I can't help but feel. I hate that I feel this way.

I'll shelter you from how I feel, it's safer locked inside.
My heart screams out a muffled cry. No echo from your mountainside.
I just feel this way.
I can't help but feel this way.
I hate that I feel this way.

credits

from P'dice, released January 16, 2012
Music written, composed and performed by Paul Cusick.
Drums: Gavin Harrison
Artwork: Martin Roberts at M:art

Hindsight is track 6 from the album P'dice.

lyrics

Catch a glimpse of tomorrow
My mirror tells no lies
Instant moments ever changing mask memories inside
I can't stop the pain returning
Nightmares with my eyes wide open
Forgive me for my wrong doing
I see clearly with hindsight
The secrets in me are burning
What have I done?
My memories all return but not the shots from my gun

credits

from P'dice, released January 16, 2012
Music written, composed and performed by Paul Cusick.
Artwork: Martin Roberts at M:art

You Know is track 5 from the album P'dice. After his stint on the battlefield our hero struggles with integrating back inot society. Mental health issues arise and he struggles.

lyrics

(can you hear me? I'm not just a memory)
See the man in his pin striped suit?
He looks just like me and you.
But he hears voices inside his head. (do it now)
A secret shame? What can he do? (talk to me)
A distant thought in a broken mind, hidden far from view.
(it's our secret)
If he confessed that he thinks they're real, would you show,
truly show him just how you feel?

On the inside (all in the mind) you know, you know.
(is that the way I feel?)
A shame that you hide, (no one else can hear me)
but you know, you won't show. (stand up for yourself)
To be told that you're deluded. (psychosis)
The things you see have never been.
A waking dream that questions who you are. (sleep now)
To include or preclude him?
To recognise or look away?
A judgement call you know you have to make.
(are all these things for real?)

And I hear the voices in my head, and they call to me. (hello)
Yes they call to me. (I'll always be here)
And I hear them crawling in my head, and they call to me,
as they crawl in me.

(can you hear me? why don't you listen to me?)
(don't turn round now)
Is that the way I feel? Are all these things for real? All in the mind.

I just want the voices to stop.

credits

from P'dice, released January 16, 2012
Music written, composed and performed by Paul Cusick.
Drums: Marco Minnemann
Artwork: Martin Robert at M:art